Saturday, July 22, 2006

Realization: Freedom of Choice

I guess most people don't give it a lot of thought when social custom pulls toward compliance. Keeping the peace has its priority. But there is a question often posed on grand occasions, that gives me pause to consider. The occasion is The Wedding. The question is in a form of the following: Who gives this woman to wed?


In weddings of the past, our culture has gone along with this rite, in support of the woman giving her love completely to her husband, forsaking all others—especially the parents, breaking the apron strings & tying a new knot. And since the first days of feminine liberation, the balancing question of, Who gives this man…?, made it all okay in the minds of most.

But is the question still as valid? Was it ever? To my mind, it’s not, when looked at in the bigger picture. In most of the Western world, arranged marriages are thought to be backwards. I believe they do have a valid place in some cultures, but not in mine. And we are all somewhat a product of our culture. Freedom of choice is purported to take precedence here.

Who gives this woman to wed?

I’d have to answer:

No one. God gave each of us the freedom to decide on our own choices in life and love. My daughter has chosen well.


  1. While reading your post Ardi, the thought occured to me that the question "who gives this woman to wed"? your daughter could say "I myself do"...:)

    Many congratulations to your daugher and family...I hope they will be very very happy..we need more of that in this world..

    Thanks for "sharing" and contributing to my "Stop the war" blog protest...

    Many Blessings,


  2. I agree with Rhiannon and send my congratulation to your daughter and may they have many years togather. It will take some work but even in this day and time it can be done.